I'll trade you black stools for your Wayne Gretzky card.
(No Doubt - Sunday Morning)

So I’ve been taking my anti-inflammatory drugs like a good boy for the past 2 weeks and thankfully I haven’t experienced any of the anal bleeding side effects outlined in the little info pamphlet they gave me. In addition I haven’t had any black stools and vomit that looks like coffee grounds. In retrospect, this seems like an unfair trade for just reducing inflammation in my strained tendons and ligaments -- but what do I know.
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I finally finished my poker table. The project took me about a year. One day to come up with the idea, a week to contemplate the design, 11 months to procrastinate, another week to psych myself up, 5 days to gather all my supplies, 2 days to actually build it. Pictures will be up as soon as I re-install my digital camera software. (Damn western-digital hard drives.)
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I wish my bedroom was big enough to cover with foam and put a mechanical bull in the middle. I also wish I had spurs that jingle, jangle, jingle.
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I know it’s not exactly what you expected but things rarely are when they have anything to do with me. Deal with it.

I want to be your storm.
(Maroon 5 - She Will Be Loved)

It's not always rainbows and butterflies.
It's compromise that moves us along.
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So I'm sitting here waiting for inspiration to hit me like hurricane Ivan and all I'm getting is a tropical depression. You know, I find I write better when I'm just sitting around without much to do. This week I've been on training during the day and at night I've been playing bball/vball and working on my poker table. Hence, I've fallen a bit behind on blogging. Next week will be much better, I promise.

Boys dream about being part of a sports team all their lives. Girls dream about planning their wedding and being part of a team of two.

I never understood the obsession until now...

Sharing is Caring but Caring is Creepy
(Coldplay - Don't Panic)

So Vanessa tells me about her guy friend who got dumped by a girl through a text message. Now this strikes me as completely surprising because that’s the sort of thing guys are known for, not girls. Actually, let me backup on that – immature guys are known for this, not all guys. I think in highschool and early parts of university these stories wouldn’t be uncommon but in your late 20’s?

I think my worst dumping was in grade 8 when a girl dumped me over the phone. It went something like this…

Girl : I’m breaking up with you.
Me : Ok.
Girl : Bye.
Me : Bye.

Since then I’ve never had a breakup go that smoothly but that’s another blog altogether.

A friend of mine broke up with a girl in university by writing a letter and sliding it underneath her room door. I’d imagine it went something like this…

Dear Blah-Blah-Blah,

Although we’ve had some great times and moments, like that time I held your hair as you puked on my shoes in the club, our time in the sun has passed. I think we should see other people. I would have told you this in person but I was drunk that night we proclaimed our love for each other and I can’t recall what you look like. You did however leave me your room number. I just didn’t want to knock and end up breaking up with your roommate by mistake.

One last moment savouring what we had…

From this moment on I will erase all memory of you to make this transition easier.

Sincerely,
Yada-Yada

Or maybe not...
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So why are we so cruel to each other?

I think no matter how ugly a relationship can be and how much uglier it can get during a break-up, it should always be done face to face. If that’s not physically possible then the next most personable medium (phone?) should be used.

Have a good weekend everyone!

Bitten by the Bad Karma Chameleon
(Electronic - Twisted Tenderness)

I’m on anti-inflammatory meds and wearing a splint for my sprained wrist. Though I don’t think it’s sprained but rather my tendonitis flaring up again. Either way my wrist is super sore. This splint doesn’t look very attractive either. I wish I was in the professional wrestling industry though cuz I could put this splint to use by hitting people over the head with it. Or I could use it to crush that stupid hard drive that failed on me 2 nights ago. My most recent backup was about a year ago and so I’ve basically lost a year’s worth of data.

Woe is me.

So yeah…this is the bad karma that I’m talking about. It hasn’t been the best of weeks but the sun is out, tomorrow is Friday, I’m loved and my grape stem tree is still alive. Things are never really as bad as they seem.

All the things you said to me today, changed my perspective in every way.
(Sarah Cracknell - Judy, Don't You Worry)

You know how when you see food on tv and you get hungry or when you see porn on tv and you get horny? The US Open is on tv and I’ve been itching to play more tennis than usual. So I played last week and hurt my wrist…which was still sore from the time I watched porn. I guess it’s time I made use of our wonderful healthcare system and got it checked out.
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I’m finally going to start building my poker table this week. No more delaying, no more procrastination. I hope I don't accidentally saw off any body parts. It's been awhile since I took shop class.
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On the topic of gambling, I’m eating leftover dim sum from Friday afternoon. I’m not sure how long before this stuff goes bad in the fridge but I’m hoping it’s not 4 days. What’s the general rule of thumb for refrigerated leftovers?
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Montreal Thanksgiving weekend, be there or be square!

Day 3 : Tree Update...
(Simon and Garfunkle - The Only Boy Living in NY)

The tree is still alive but it’s starting to sag to the left a little. I finally have a picture and I’ll post it when I get home tonight.
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When trying to solve the problem of women, there are always too many variables to figure out. When trying to solve the problem of men, there are only a few variables and sex is usually one of them. Food might be the other one.
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You know what’s sucks? – the World Poker Tour (WPT). I hate the fact that they’ve made poker into pop culture on tv and they’ve basically got everyone and their moms thinking that they’re poker pros.

I hate sitting down at a table with some moron sitting next to me preflop raising his J9 offsuit in early position and being smug about it. The upside is that there's more satisfaction taking money from smug people.

I also hate playing with those people who obviously think that it’s a game of complete luck and that if they keep putting in more money that eventually their luck will turn around. These people are usually also the same people who can't afford to sit at a poker table and lose large sums of money. Last weekend I saw a guy put in at least $600. $200 of which went to me. Thanks but no thanks buddy, you should be worrying about your mortgage and your family. There’s no satisfaction taking money from these types of people.

Subconscious Premeditated Rambling
(Thievery Corporation - Lebanese Blonde)

I was so surprised to see my grape stem tree still alive this morning. I gave it some water today because the play-doh base was drying out. I hope it lasts through this upcoming weekend.

You know what would be great? If the stem magically sprouted like Jack’s bean stalk over the weekend and I walked into the office to see a tree growing up from my desk, through the skylight above me and up through the clouds.

I probably wouldn’t climb it though knowing that there would be some man-eating giant up in the clouds waiting for me. Even the gold-laying goose couldn’t entice me. I think gold is sort of going out of style these days anyhow. Last I heard girls were looking for platinum engagement rings. I wonder if this is due to inflation.
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Someone at my company’s head office won the powerball $97 million lottery last week. One of my housemates from university won a $1 million lottery the a few years ago. What does this all mean?

1) You should aspire to know me because people who know me win the lottery.
2) I will never win the lottery because you assholes keep winning it.

I want to stick my head out of the car of life and scream at the top of my lungs.
(The Shins - New Slang)

I made another grape stem tree for my desk. It really livens things up on my desk,
though it blocks part of the view to my monitor. If I had my digital camera with me
today I’d take a picture for you. It’s like a mini bonsai except with fruit flies
flying around it.
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My grandmother, aunt and uncle are coming up from the states to visit this long weekend. They’ll be meeting SOS (significant other Sonia) for the first time. This will be girlfriend #3 that they’ve met in recent years. It isn’t too big of a deal but I have to wonder if they think that I’m some sort of playboy or if they think I’m just bad with women. I don’t know which one of those titles would be worse.
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Wanted -- a female setter in the Toronto area to play in a co-ed competitive volleyball league. Must know how to play 6-2 or 5-1 and how to give massages to aging 28-year-old men whose better sports years are behind them.
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I could’ve won a week cruise to Mexico the other night in a 338 person poker tournament. I didn’t want to go to Mexico so I tanked it and finished 4th and took a cash prize instead. Anyone been to Mexico? Should I have stayed in and competed for that trip?